Goose Blog

The Doc Tease - The Peas Episode 2

2009-07-30T20:27:00.003+01:00

Oh... Whats this? it's only the second instalment of the peas no less! The Doc Tease is not in any way taken from a personal experience of mine... Not at all, it was Marsh!

The iPod Deviant - The Peas

2009-07-05T19:38:00.003+01:00

About two years ago I wrote a small comic strip, called 'The Peas' and here it is in animated format!

This episode is an adaptation of the comic strip 'The iPod Rapist' I'm sure you'll love it (Please no wanking though)

For those of you that are interested follow the link below to see the original comic strips...

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=191511476&albumId=653116

The Peas come to life!

2009-07-05T19:31:00.002+01:00

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=191511476&albumId=653116

Website Face Lift & New content coming soon...

2009-07-04T15:52:00.005+01:00

Well looky here, look who's just walked into the party like they were walking onto a yacht, why its The Replica Goose Egg .co.uk, wearing some new threads. It looks like it's been on 10 years younger for websites, although that wouldn't really work, (nerdy snigger) cos' cos' that means it would just look like, basic html code, or somthing, you know like web sites did ten years ago... (nerdy snigger) Oh nostalgia, I love nostagia, I remember rattling away on AOL chat to a 13/F that knows far to much about the vietnam war to have just done it in history and insists that I fondle my own bumhole as we while away the time and my dads 30 FREE hours a month.

Oh and there's more content coming soon in the form of films and cartoons. But that's all i'm saying for now... Why? because it's a big fucking secret that's why.

Masked Dan's Worst'est Week

2009-02-12T16:28:00.001Z

For those of you that haven't caught this yet!!

'Addiction' A Paul Minns Story

2009-02-03T17:46:00.007Z

The party was in full swing. Minnsy was feeling agitated, his left eye began to twitch involuntary.
"You all right sir?" asked the bar tender, pouring him another saucer of double cream.
"Yeah, I'm fine" He replied. He was lying, because he was far from fine, he was trying to get off it, why couldn't he break his addiction? he hated himself, what am I doing? I don't need to do this? I'm stronger than this...

More time had passed, Minnsy had now chugged down 6 saucers of double cream, he was feeling tipsy.
"Minnsy" Adam slurred, he'd had a few as well (beers not creams).
"Yeah, what?" He snapped.
"Woah, whats wrong with you? You look like you need a nap"
"No, I don't want one." Minnsy pushes past Adam and stumbles into toilet. He could now feel his heart beat pumping through his tiny feline skull, boom boom boom. He glares at his reflection in the mirror.
"I loath you!" he wiskers. Sorry I mean whispers.
"I can't take this any more." Minnsy lifts his head slowly. At that moment he notices there's an open window on the back wall of the toilet. He grins to himself, The urge is too much, this is just too perfect.

"Hello, is anyone in here?" Minnsy enquires, he's all alone. He makes his way over to the open window.
"Here friend, here friend, friend, friend, come here friend." he calls.
He waits only a moment, its happening, a shadow appears at the window. Minnsy is getting excited.
"Yes! Oh yes!, come to me, it's ok, it's fuuuun! He growls.

This was the moment that an innocent bystander after hearing the commotion burst into the toilet and took this photograph...

The Masked Dan Show - Episode 1

2009-02-01T19:54:00.005Z

"Oh here's a silly idea that we will never do". I said to myself on Friday. It is now Sunday evening and the silly idea has very much been done. Masked Dan has been given his own podcast.

In this the (pilot episode) he is sent to the film premier of 'Revolutionary Road', he talks and talks about his comeback gig at the Adelphi. Its all very tedious stuff to be honest and not even worth bothering listening to. Infact to listen to this drivel would prove beyond any doubt that 'YOU' the reader of this blog post are a bloody idiot. That said the world needs an idiot, someone has to buy burgundy coloured trainers or wank at work in a toilet cubicle just loud enough that everone knows what you are doing you dirty little slug even though in your mind it is the stealthiest tug you have ever had.

All that said you might like it...

Click here to download!

Adam

I'll come...(yeah course you will Judas) The Adelphi 29/01/2009

2009-01-30T14:49:00.006Z

Hellough there.

I'd like to start by giving a speacial thanks to Jim, Marsh and Amy who turned up to watch Masked Dan disgust and offend a room of strangers at the Adelphi Club, Hull. Oh, and thanks to Janey for not stopping him...

"I love playing the Adelphi club, the only club in the world that was whittled down from one giant lump of phlegm left over from the big bang, and it stinks of piss" Dan commented after the show.

Unlike many other big lumps of phlegm, this wonderfull little club, on a good night and with the right crowd can generate an excellent atmosphere. This was one of those good nights.

"The audience where tremendous, a bunch of ugly fuckers who looked like they'd spent all day filling skips with gravel and used oil filters, but great" Said Dan.

For the full interview, listen to Masked Dan's new podcast, 'The Masked Dan show' coming very soon. Details to follow shortly.

Adam

Filming (18/01/2009)

2009-01-18T20:33:00.008Z

The pure bloody comedy magic of The ReplicaGooseEgg is being reborn. 'Hurrah', cry comedy lovers nationwide, 'thank fuck the hiatus is over and Minnsy's strange little cat head is back on YouTube!'

Upon arrival on set, David 'Filthy Paws' Marshall gave a brief interview on rebirth of Hull's favourite comedy group (second only to the Hull Blokes). 'I never thought it would happen' he said, chuckling to himself. 'I mean, if I didn't have this in life, I'd have probably wanked myself into oblivion months long ago.' After giving me an odd (yet suggestive look), he was whisked away to the make-up studio for some heavy powdering and bottom-paddling.

Meanwhile, Adam Jackson made a less grand entrance, walking in a sole full of dog shite and treading it into the depths of Minnsy's shagpile rug. Minnsy would have been furious if only he'd noticed that his beloved rug had disappeared. It now lies cremated in the bottom of his wheelie bin. Adam didn't want to comment on the matter and forgot the incident as soon as he adorned the mask of everyone's favourite YouTube star, Masked Dan.

Shortly after all had arrived for the shoot, Minnsy awoke from his slumber and graced us with his presence wearing his trademark (now heavily soiled) dressing gown. Now, everyone knows Minnsy is a professional and he doesn't waste any time getting down to business. So after he had grabbed a cup of tea, drove to McDonalds for a Double Sausage McMuffin Meal, popped into the corner shop for a packet of bacon, and drank another cup of tea, he was ready to start and also tell us he had left an important part of his costume at work. Continuity means nothing to him. He's a hero to many people; to me, he's a cretin.

During the shoot, I giggled. I giggled a lot. That sort of giggling when I laugh through my nose and it sounds (and looks) like I'm on the brink of some horrid fitting session. Apart from giggling, I pointed the camera in the wrong direction often, and watched gleefully as Marshall had fake blood poured all over face and down his ear.

I love Cats - A Paul Minns Story

2009-01-16T15:06:00.008Z

The cat (Felis catus),

It was a cold winters afternoon, the last of the leaves were falling from a large oak tree as I walked past, my breath condensed in the air, I shivered and at that same moment heard a soft 'meow' coming from above me. I paused for a second. I heard it again. "Meow".

Followed by "Help". I looked up, the low winter sun dazzling me as I did so. "meow", I heard it again. I squinted, the sillouette of a man came into focus.

"Hello?" I said with a quationable tone. "Who's that?"

"I'm stuck in this large oak tree" the shrill voice squeeked.

"Oh, right, who are you?" I asked.

"I'ts me Paul Minns" the voice replied. I still couldn't see clearly, so took a step forward.

"I'm Sorry" I chuckled, "Can you repeat that? It sounded as if you said your name was Paul Minns. But he has been missing for 6 years."

"I know sir, for I am stuck in this large oak tree."

"No" I interject, "It cannot be!" I took a another step forward and brought up my hand sheilding the sun from my gaze. I couldn't believe it. Dropping to my knees with sheer disbelief. "Paul, Do you expect me to believe that you have been stuck in a tree for 6 years?"

"No, you miss understand" he replied "I have only been stuck up here for the last 20 minutes, For I have caught my leg on a branch. For the last 6 years I have been living on the Greatfield Estate with a lioness named Sheeba" We have 3 cubs, Mike, Pete and Steve, we are very happy together,"

"Okay, but how did you end up in this large oak tree?" I asked.

"I was hunting a sparrow" he swiftly replied.

"I have never heard such a crock of shit in all my life, good day Mr Minns"

"No!, wait, please call the fire brigade" He pleaded. Reluctantly I took out my mobile phone and dialed 999.

"Well Mr Minns, this is were we part company, I want no further part in your filthy web of lies" I said as he gentley groomed himself with the back of his hand"

"Ok, I new you wouldn't believe me that's why I have kept out of all your lives for the last 6 years, I knew you wouldn't approve of my new lifestyle... As a Cat. Here, take this photo, it was taken at Christmas. It's the only time Sheeba and I have ventured out in public. We went to the Boars Nest, she insisted, I prefer Dukes but... Women eh?" he chuckled"

"Erm Yeah, bye weirdo"

As distant sirens grew ever nearer I walked onward to Tesco Express, (which is where I was going, i didn't mention that in the begining, but thats where I was going).

THE END

Welcome to The Replica Goose Eggs new Blog!

2009-01-14T09:01:00.000Z

Hello There,

Welcome to this our flagship post of our new attempt at keeping a blog of events in the life of the goose egg. The purpose of this blog is to keep everyone informed of things going on... So here goes.

I'm currently writing new material for Masked Dan's appearence at the Adelphi on Thursday 29th of Jan.... erm going well, and it should go well, if my audience are deaf mutes.

Also on the 29th we will be running a premier of our new film, 'Masked Dan's Worstest Week'. Take it from me this will be a good one. And for anyone who can't make the premier, it will be uploaded on our site on the 30th.

I know this is a boring post, but, i'm really just testing that the blog works... And if you are reading this, then it did.

Many Thanks

Adam