I'll come...(yeah course you will Judas) The Adelphi 29/01/2009

Hellough there.

I'd like to start by giving a speacial thanks to Jim, Marsh and Amy who turned up to watch Masked Dan disgust and offend a room of strangers at the Adelphi Club, Hull. Oh, and thanks to Janey for not stopping him...

"I love playing the Adelphi club, the only club in the world that was whittled down from one giant lump of phlegm left over from the big bang, and it stinks of piss" Dan commented after the show.

Unlike many other big lumps of phlegm, this wonderfull little club, on a good night and with the right crowd can generate an excellent atmosphere. This was one of those good nights.

"The audience where tremendous, a bunch of ugly fuckers who looked like they'd spent all day filling skips with gravel and used oil filters, but great" Said Dan.

For the full interview, listen to Masked Dan's new podcast, 'The Masked Dan show' coming very soon. Details to follow shortly.

Adam

Filming (18/01/2009)

The pure bloody comedy magic of The ReplicaGooseEgg is being reborn. 'Hurrah', cry comedy lovers nationwide, 'thank fuck the hiatus is over and Minnsy's strange little cat head is back on YouTube!'

Upon arrival on set, David 'Filthy Paws' Marshall gave a brief interview on rebirth of Hull's favourite comedy group (second only to the Hull Blokes). 'I never thought it would happen' he said, chuckling to himself. 'I mean, if I didn't have this in life, I'd have probably wanked myself into oblivion months long ago.' After giving me an odd (yet suggestive look), he was whisked away to the make-up studio for some heavy powdering and bottom-paddling.

Meanwhile, Adam Jackson made a less grand entrance, walking in a sole full of dog shite and treading it into the depths of Minnsy's shagpile rug. Minnsy would have been furious if only he'd noticed that his beloved rug had disappeared. It now lies cremated in the bottom of his wheelie bin. Adam didn't want to comment on the matter and forgot the incident as soon as he adorned the mask of everyone's favourite YouTube star, Masked Dan.

Shortly after all had arrived for the shoot, Minnsy awoke from his slumber and graced us with his presence wearing his trademark (now heavily soiled) dressing gown. Now, everyone knows Minnsy is a professional and he doesn't waste any time getting down to business. So after he had grabbed a cup of tea, drove to McDonalds for a Double Sausage McMuffin Meal, popped into the corner shop for a packet of bacon, and drank another cup of tea, he was ready to start and also tell us he had left an important part of his costume at work. Continuity means nothing to him. He's a hero to many people; to me, he's a cretin.

During the shoot, I giggled. I giggled a lot. That sort of giggling when I laugh through my nose and it sounds (and looks) like I'm on the brink of some horrid fitting session. Apart from giggling, I pointed the camera in the wrong direction often, and watched gleefully as Marshall had fake blood poured all over face and down his ear.

I love Cats - A Paul Minns Story

The cat (Felis catus),

It was a cold winters afternoon, the last of the leaves were falling from a large oak tree as I walked past, my breath condensed in the air, I shivered and at that same moment heard a soft 'meow' coming from above me. I paused for a second. I heard it again. "Meow".

Followed by "Help". I looked up, the low winter sun dazzling me as I did so. "meow", I heard it again. I squinted, the sillouette of a man came into focus.

"Hello?" I said with a quationable tone. "Who's that?"

"I'm stuck in this large oak tree" the shrill voice squeeked.

"Oh, right, who are you?" I asked.

"I'ts me Paul Minns" the voice replied. I still couldn't see clearly, so took a step forward.

"I'm Sorry" I chuckled, "Can you repeat that? It sounded as if you said your name was Paul Minns. But he has been missing for 6 years."

"I know sir, for I am stuck in this large oak tree."

"No" I interject, "It cannot be!" I took a another step forward and brought up my hand sheilding the sun from my gaze. I couldn't believe it. Dropping to my knees with sheer disbelief. "Paul, Do you expect me to believe that you have been stuck in a tree for 6 years?"

"No, you miss understand" he replied "I have only been stuck up here for the last 20 minutes, For I have caught my leg on a branch. For the last 6 years I have been living on the Greatfield Estate with a lioness named Sheeba" We have 3 cubs, Mike, Pete and Steve, we are very happy together,"

"Okay, but how did you end up in this large oak tree?" I asked.

"I was hunting a sparrow" he swiftly replied.

"I have never heard such a crock of shit in all my life, good day Mr Minns"

"No!, wait, please call the fire brigade" He pleaded. Reluctantly I took out my mobile phone and dialed 999.

"Well Mr Minns, this is were we part company, I want no further part in your filthy web of lies" I said as he gentley groomed himself with the back of his hand"

"Ok, I new you wouldn't believe me that's why I have kept out of all your lives for the last 6 years, I knew you wouldn't approve of my new lifestyle... As a Cat. Here, take this photo, it was taken at Christmas. It's the only time Sheeba and I have ventured out in public. We went to the Boars Nest, she insisted, I prefer Dukes but... Women eh?" he chuckled"

"Erm Yeah, bye weirdo"

As distant sirens grew ever nearer I walked onward to Tesco Express, (which is where I was going, i didn't mention that in the begining, but thats where I was going).

THE END

Welcome to The Replica Goose Eggs new Blog!

Hello There,

Welcome to this our flagship post of our new attempt at keeping a blog of events in the life of the goose egg. The purpose of this blog is to keep everyone informed of things going on... So here goes.

I'm currently writing new material for Masked Dan's appearence at the Adelphi on Thursday 29th of Jan.... erm going well, and it should go well, if my audience are deaf mutes. 

Also on the 29th we will be running a premier of our new film, 'Masked Dan's Worstest Week'. Take it from me this will be a good one. And for anyone who can't make the premier, it will be uploaded on our site on the 30th.

I know this is a boring post, but, i'm really just testing that the blog works... And if you are reading this, then it did.

Many Thanks

Adam